Let’s just say that was the last time she prepared pasta for us. Not only was he visibly angry, he was offended as an Italian.

Hangry and eager to take the first bite, he twirled the pasta on his fork and immediately watched it break into itsy-itsy-limp pieces of spaghettini (“little spaghetti”). I looked over at Massimo, the 82-year old man of the house. With much finesse, she whipped up a beautiful braised meat and eggplant ragu, fairy-dusted with grated parmiggiano and torn sweet basil. She began boiling the pasta, then patiently foraged for fresh ingredients in the garden out back. With raised eyebrows, we agreed to let her proceed. She insisted she was a great cook who excelled with Italian food. One evening a sweet South American gal was over and said she wanted to cook a pasta dish for dinner. I was staying with a family in Lido di Noto, Sicily. But, if cooking and sharing food is the blood line of all Italians, take this kitchen quality-control behavior to heart, cooking grains precisely is a big deal. Of course you don’t need a man around to help test your grains (I certainly don’t!). If you’re hanging around the kitchen in Italy, regardless of your gender, odds are you’ll get pulled into the decision-making process of “ Pronto?” (Ready?). Getting the grains prepared right is critical and sets the quality standard for the entire meal. I mentioned this observation to a girlfriend of mine who lives in Southern Italy-her and her fiancé are feminists-yet even they had never noticed this cultural habit and agreed that it was interesting and “just the way things are”. Even in the most progressive homes, I found this to always be the case. In all the kitchens I explored across southern Italy, the cooking was the woman’s job-however, testing the pasta, legumes, and rice for doneness was the man’s job.

Cultural and Social Significance of “al dente”

Aldente definition